We Could Be
by an-awfully-big-adventure
Summary: First attempt at what may become the story of James and Lily. Starting after Lily's friendship with Snape ends. Be nice please, first Jily fanfic! Rated M for what may be written later.


To lose your best friend was heartbreaking, but as Lily Evans had just discovered, to be used as a pawn and insulted just to impress others by your best friend, that hurt the most. Severus Snape had chosen his path. As she sat on the window seat in her dormitory she could just glimpse the edge of the lake and a tear escaped as she remembered hearing the word "mudblood" coming out of his mouth. The amount of venom he had managed to inject into that word had shocked her so much, that Sev, her Sev, could have become just another cruel Slytherin. Lily Evans wiped her cheeks dry on the sleeve of her robes as she heard the door of the dormitory open and heard Alice and Mary cautiously enter the room.

"Lils you have to come down sometime, everyone's worried." Alice said as she went over to Lily and stood by her.

"James and Sirius say they're not leaving the bottom of the girls dormitory stairs until they see you, and Marlene keeps hexing them for being in her way" added Mary.

"Good" said Lily, a small smile playing on her lips, Marlene's temper, she thought, might do wonders for deflating Potter's ego, her bat-bogey hex was renowned throughout Hogwarts, not to mention her talent for using Levicorpus and the Leg-Locker Curse which usually stopped people from getting in her way.

"We just want to know that you're alright, I think James is blaming himself" the concern for Potter's feelings that Alice was voicing irritated Lily, but that was just Alice, she cared for everyone, in Alice's world everyone should get along all the time, sadly Lily and James didn't typically do much to maintain this illusion.

"He should blame himself. If he hadn't hexed him all the time-" Lily stopped, she was defending Snape, as calmly as she could she continued speaking, "I'm angry at Potter, but it's Snape who said it, Potter just can't understand that maybe, just this once, something doesn't revolve around him!" Mary smiled, "You must be feeling better, you're already insulting James again". Lily suppressed a small smile, "I'll get there, I just need to sit here for a while alright?" Alice and Mary nodded at Lily and quietly left the room".

* * *

"Where is she? I should hex him for it! Is she alright? What should I do?" James bombarded them with questions as they made their way down the stairs to the common room.

"James leave her alone" Alice tried to look half apologetic whilst remaining firm but failed miserably.

"But I should do something – I should transfigure Snivillus into a cockroach or... or..." James ran a hand frantically through his hair. Marlene turned to Sirius who was looking at his friend nodding at his decision to maim Snape in any way, "Get him out of here, please Sirius". Marlene had known Sirius since they were children, a side effect of being brought up in a pureblood homes, he looked at her as though about to question it then turned back to James.

"Come on Prongs, mate" and quickly he dragged James up the adjacent staircase to the boys dormitory.

* * *

"I should have cursed him Padfoot. I should have hurt him, he called her a MUDBLOOD".

"I don't think this is our battle anymore Prongs, I think Lily needs to make a decision about Snape, you just need to stay out of her hair for a bit, you don't exactly calm her down most of the time". James conceded this point, in fact, James seemed to have a talent for infuriated Lily, she was usually so calm and amicable, but if he was present fireworks could ignite at any given moment. "I just- I just wish I could do something for her, anything". James sat on the edge of his bed holding his head in his hands. Sirius lent against the bed post and just stood next to James, his friend was really in love, in love with someone who hated him.

* * *

Lily just sat staring out of the window as around her hair room mates crept into their beds, not wanting to disturb her silence. When she was sure they were all asleep she left the room, and crept down the stairs, the common room was empty, the comfortable chairs all angled around a dying fire. She just continued walking, almost as though in a trance as she left the Gryffindor common room and down the flight of stairs. The air outside was warm, still holding the heat from a summers day, Lily walked straight to the edge of the lake and reached into her robes. Lily pulled out a jumble of photographs from her previous 4 years at Hogwarts. Lily began the task of sorting through them, found all of the ones which held a laughing Severus Snape and a young Lily Evans. It was unbelievable how happy they looked together, Lily began to notice things in the photographs that she hadn't before: the sadness that seemed to creep into Snape in the more recent photos, and the all too apparent affection for Lily that he showed in the earlier ones as the photograph version of Snape threw his arm around Lily's shoulders. He had loved her. She had not. Now? Now Lily Evans just felt numb, she took the photos and, taking her wand in her hand, sent them to the bottom of the lake to join the giant squid. This was what she had to do, the ties between herself and Severus Snape had been cut, there was a war starting and Lily Evans knew which side she was on.

James watched her, all evening he'd been watching her on the map, ignoring Moony and Wormtail as they'd tried to distract him with gobstones and wizards chess. Then further ignoring them as they complained that Lily Evans was driving him to chain smoking and the dormitory was beginning to look like the inside of a chimney. His Lily was here, she was upset, James knew where he needed to be. As his three friends watched him, James picked up his invisibility cloak and walked out of the dormitory. Remus and Sirius shared a worried look as Peter let out a sigh, this would end badly.

James, hidden under his invisibility cloak watched her as she looked at what appeared to be photographs. It was only when he saw her blank expression that he worried, Lily was always so full of life and emotion, even if it was usually anger that was directed at him. Quickly James removed the cloak and made sure that his footsteps could be heard as he walked towards her so she knew someone was there.

"Go away Potter." Her voice was clear as it filled the space between them, not even turning around before speaking.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Because it's always you, you're always there, always thinking you should be there for me. Go away. Just this once, listen to me and leave me alone."

"But I-"

Her head whipped around, her long dark red hair flying in the breeze, "No, James. You have to stop. You have to stop bothering me and stop asking me out and stop talking to me. I can't do this anymore, I'm tired of having to deal with you and speak to you. You are arrogant and conceited and- and you're just as bad as he is." The meaning was not lost on James – just as bad as Snape.

"How can you say that?" James' anger began to rise as he demanded Lily answer him.

"Because you bullied him. You hex just about any kid in this place who happens to get in your way. Everyone just puts it down to you being a 'marauder' as though you should be exempt from the rules? But you're not! But you know the really sad thing? You're incapable of changing and - and I hate you."

For just a second James' guard was down and the hurt Lily had inflicted was etched on his face, then his usual facade appeared again, an air of confidence.

"Fine Evans. You want it this way." He sneered at her and the tears that filled her eyes, he sneered at her so called friendship with Snivillus, he sneered at her stupidity for trusting a future Death Eater. James Potter left. Lily waited by the lake watching him go, unable to understand the sinking feeling in her stomach as she walked Potter walking into the castle.

* * *

James Potter walked into his dormitory, where to his surprise he found his three friends waiting for him. Lupin handed him a bottle of firewhisky and Peter brought out their stash of food, whilst Sirius lit a cigarette. The end of fifth year, they thought was to be the end of James Potter's love for Lily Evans.


End file.
